Colin D.
I spent the better part of two decades building a career in and around healthcare — leading teams, hitting numbers, earning the recognition that was supposed to mean something. And it did have meaning. But somewhere along the way, I lost the plot. I had traded in the life I most dreamed of for a life that kept me safe — one that portrayed an image of success, but by the world's definition, not mine. In the accumulation of roles and responsibilities, I lost track of who I actually am and what I'm capable of in this life.
I found myself carrying a weight — a tension — between the life I felt called to and the life I wandered into. Two losses, twenty years apart, taught me that lesson twice. The first, my father's death, taught me how not to grieve — bury it, keep moving. The second, the heartbreaking loss of an expected child, wouldn't let me do that again. In my search for answers, I found a truth that was hiding in plain sight — or at least in the wisdom traditions of the world. Water as an image of return and renewal shows up again and again: in the Tao, in the Buddha's teaching, in the Stoics, in the Bible's language of "living water." In the same way snowpack in the mountains always, eventually, makes its way back to the ocean, each of us is on a journey back to our source; how successfully we arrive depends on how much we let go of what weighs us down, and reach for our virtues.
As I continue to close the gap between the life I dream of and the one I inherited, I've come to realize just how important it is to make the journey in community. Throughout my life, I've been blessed to be part of a few "Scotch Clubs" — where sharing the richness and complexity of life was even more important than what was in the bottle. Over nearly 20 years, I've observed what actually moves men — not the frameworks you find in business books, but the deeper work of identity, meaning, and the kind of honest self-reckoning that most men only encounter in a crisis. This program is a combination of the things I know work, and what I wish had existed when I needed it most.
I live and work in the Northern Rockies — Montana and Idaho — where the landscape itself teaches the lessons. Solid relationships, honest reflection, and dedicated space away from the noise have been fundamental to every season of positive transformation I've ever experienced — which is why I believe so strongly in making them fundamental to what we do at Headwaters. On that foundation, we explore what it takes to live a life of deep meaning, sustained satisfaction, and inspired action.
We're at the headwaters of this journey. Care to join us? — Colin